The Quondam Grad School Diaries

Wordpressed

2009-10-26T05:21:08Z

Some of you may recall that a while ago I had talked about looking into a new method of setting up my website, largely to make things easier in terms of updating, not just with my beloved incoherent ramblings, but also so I could start sharing more of my creative -- and making it easier for people to find certain pieces.

This past weekend I finally decided to take the plunge, and proceeded to work on getting Wordpress up and running on my site. To be brutally honest, I'm still not entirely sure what the heck is going on behind the curtain, but at the moment, all seems to be well, so I'm not going to fret at this point in time.

The new blog is located here: http://www.strangeunlimited.com/blog/

I have to admit that I'm feeling pretty good about the move to Wordpress. It took me a little while to work out some bugs and track down some issues I was having, but in the end, I managed to get it set up, installed a theme (and tweaked it slightly; namely the background image), located and installed a number of plugins to allow me to share various types of media easily, and also managed to do some work offline in terms of getting my media properly prepped for the new format.

The old website will still be around for a while, I think, just because there are aspects to it I enjoy, but eventually I'll probably be paring it down and managing most of my content through Wordpress.

One of the big advantages to the new format is that now I can stream my music/videos/etc. directly from my site. It's not a dedicated streaming server, but since I doubt I'll ever have to deal with YouTube-like numbers, I seriously doubt it'll be an issue. And honestly, I also much prefer to be hosting my own content; just a cleaner approach, really.

I fully expect the blog to be going through a constant series of adjustments and tweaks for the rest of the year as I get more used to what I can and can't do, and also what I need and want from the site. Also in the early days, I'll likely be posting a lot, as I'll be uploading my various videos, animations, photos, music, drawings, etc. to the site. I think I'm also planning on starting up my reviews there, as well, just because it's the "new" thing right now.

In any case, watch the blog for a lot of content coming up. Those who have been through my site before, you'll see pretty much all that stuff go up, but there's going to be a lot of new things, as well, mainly because it's so flippin' easier to update through the blog than through the main site.

Games for all occasions! Birthdays! Interventions! Bitter relationship breakups!

2009-10-23T15:49:12Z

Ran a solo test of Madness this morning with the latest rule change that I came up with after my talk with Nick, and it went fairly well. Took a couple of hours for a 4-player game, but I'm thinking that it would be faster (and tighter) with 4 actually people playing, as I would tend to forget minor details that, as a single player, I would not. As always, certain refinements need to be made, such as some more tinkering with the balance of certain cards in light of the new rules, and I certainly need to keep making adjustments to the UI (even though it is not digital, it is still a User Interface).

As always, I won't know for sure until I run it through a few playtests, but I'm letting myself get hopeful that this might just be (a lot of qualifiers in there...) the core rule twist the game needed to maintain the fun, yet avoid the danger of a prolonged stalemate.

The big change is that now Fortifications not only double as a Crazy Idea Node of your choice (for purposes of victory conditions, only), but they also cost 5 bases -- not actions -- to purchase. The shift to using bases as a currency is key: a base is worth more than the Action spent to obtain it, as it also means that you are opening up nodes to others for expansion, as well as cutting short certain connection lines and pathways. It seems to hit the right balance of risk and reward, and additionally, the move keeps the maps from getting completely choked up and maintains a bit of flow so that the trench warfare pitfall doesn't show up. Even though it took 2 hours for the game to be won, the playtest showed that the game never got bogged down, and also that it's still balanced well enough that any player has a shot to win.

So, now the hard part -- gathering up enough people to run a playtest.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

I'm on the very last mission for "Mercenaries," but I hate the game so much that I had to put it on the shelf, and probably won't return to it for some time. To me, the strength of the game is the ability to, on a mission, scope the area out, plan your attack, and choose your method of attack.

Unfortunately, the game all to often rips that away from you in the missions. Far too many are time-based, which destroys any chance to actually enjoy the sandbox aspect because you have to rush to make it to the site, blast through everything, and then hit your objective. Other missions and just deliberately set up so that there is, in fact, only one way to really give yourself a fair shot at completing it.

The last mission, while I understand is supposed to be hard, is just infuriating. They drop you on an island in the middle of a firefight, so any hope of sneaking around to scope the area is gone, and then you are hopelessly outnumbered and outgunned. Oh, sure, you can call in airstrikes and the like, but first you have to get rid of the anti-air vehicles and helicopters. I am also completely sick of the RPG guys that appear out of nowhere, have unlimited ammo, and using homking rockets that can follow you around cover -- even though when you pick up the same weapon, the rockets only go straight, and you only have 4 shots.

After I was killed for the 6th time in the same spot, before I had even gotten to the meat of the mission, I decided that I had better things to do with my time. I probably will attempt to finish it at some point, just because that's what I like to do, but I also won't fret over it.

It just amazes me the number of horrid game design decisions that made it into the game. And the sad thing is that they are so bad, they totally destroyed any enjoyment I was getting from the game otherwise.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

A friend of mine sent me "Ico" recently, and it has been the perfect balm to the irritating rash that was "Mercenaries." I've always enjoyed the puzzle-style adventures, and "Ico" does a beautiful job of showing how you can create a very compelling narrative with little dialogue. Likewise, it's doing a wonderful job of setting up the relationship between the two kids, through both game design (keep her close at all times, as you never know when those shades are going to attack) and visual storytelling. Perfect example of the latter: when Ico falls from a height that is a bit too high, he will cry out in pain; the princess will always come running over to him out of concern. She can't heal or anything, but it's just the perfect display of compassion, esp. considering that the two kids don't speak the same language (it seems). And, of course, the whole vibration control for when Ico is pulling her along by the hand -- this game is a case study in visual storytelling, and one of the best examples of how video games can be a powerful medium for narrative without the need for wordy cutscenes or endless character exposition.

I'll probably finish it this upcoming weekend, largely because it's pulled me in pretty well.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

Thanks to some help from the always reliable Mr. 188, I was able to get confirmation that my UT3 level does, in fact, work on other people's machines now. I can still work on a couple of minor issues (why the heck isn't the texture mapping to the lift?), but overall, I think I'm going to move that down the priority pole, and instead start working on a new map. I have an idea for a Warfare map, and it'll require me to get more in-depth with creating custom meshes in Maya, as well as give me a chance to play more with the vertical movement element of UT3 that I love (and think is under-utilized).

For those interested, you can download it here:
http://www.filefront.com/14737823/DM_EngineRoom_Beta_02.zip/

The s(h)ifting moods

2009-10-21T18:51:42Z

Earlier today I was feeling a bit on the down side -- looks like I will need to break open my metaphorical piggy bank unless things change drastically come the end of the week. And the continued stalled progress on my various projects (some because of me, others not) certainly didn't give me the lift that the balloon boy did to editorial cartoonists.

But then, not only did the weather warm up to the high 60s, but the sun broke through the clouds.

And I happened across Owl City's "Fireflies."

And suddenly, all is right with the world. :)

[UPDATE: And I just found a missing left sock! Ye gads, how often does that happen?]

Thanks from a Browns Fan

2009-10-19T01:35:53Z

Yes, the Browns lost again to the Steelers, but I don't think that's really much of a surprise. What is a surprise is that I feel pretty upbeat about the football this weekend, and want to thank those who made it possible.

Hence, Thank You...

...Josh Cribbs. That interception was a bummer, but you continue to play at a high level despite the unhappiness with your contract. Cleveland loves you, and regardless of the business end, everyone knows that Mangini does as well.

...Tennessee Titans. Your blowout defeat will be the talk of the week, especially since you still have not won a game, and had the best record in the AFC last season. This meltdown is historic, and despite the talent on the roster, you played worse than the Browns. Seriously, do you have any idea how rare it is that a Browns fan can say, "Well, at least we didn't play as bad as the Titans."

...Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Still winless as well, you have done a nice job of showing that maybe, just maybe, Mangini and company were smart in trading away K2. As I recall, everyone thought that the Browns were fools to trade away that talent, and that Tampa Bay would be a real contender as a result. Instead, the Browns are one game better than the Bucs. Isn't this something that happens after the 6th seal is opened?

...Buffalo Bills. I was so happy to hear that you won, largely because upsetting the Jets is good for Browns fans on 2 levels:
--Since the Braylon Edwards trade, the Browns are 1-1, while the Jets are 0-2. Edwards has not won a game this season, and given his sour attitude while in Cleveland, I am rather tickled pink. The term "giddy" may be applied.
--Maybe all the talk about how utterly foolish the Browns were not to draft Sanchez will die down for a week or two. To be fair, the way he's playing now is how I would have expected him to play if the Browns had drafted him -- the Browns just don't have the offensive talent to give him a chance to succeed. Scary thought: could Sanchez's QB rating actually be worse this week than DA's?

(Have you noticed the theme here? That a Browns fan is happy when the team/players are not ranked last in the stats? This what a decade of false starts will do to you.)

...Steven Hauschka. Your missed field goal gave the Vikings the victory, and the Ravens have now lost three straight. My hope is that the more bad luck you take in, the less is around in the division for the Browns. No offense.

...the Texans. I don't have anything against the Bengals, and am actually glad that they are winning for a change, but it's good to know that this weekend, only 1 team from the AFC North won. And hey, that team beat the Browns, so it's not like they can really brag.

Life in the Extremes

2009-10-17T05:52:00Z

Thursday was, quite frankly, exceptionally dull. I got out of bed very late, didn't get dressed until much later, and pretty much did absolutely zero in terms of anything productive. It was partly just being tired, but I think more so that I slipped and got stuck in that nasty rut of procrastination.

But Friday, "The door swings both ways." Sure, I got up late again, but this really doesn't count as a surprise. I am a night owl, and unless I have severe motivation in the mornings (have to get to work on time, need to catch a plane, bed is on fire, etc.). More importantly, is that once I was up, I was actually to get a lot done in two primary areas.

1) Job Hunt. I sent in another resume, but this wasn't the big news. The big news was that I also had a burst of activity in terms of following up on some local jobs. I managed to start another dialogue with one company, got some good insight on another, and am planning to meet with Nick about a third (as well as other stuff). Naturally, the true measure of all this lies in the ability to actually finally land a job; nevertheless, I felt much better afterwards, because at least I was getting some work done in terms of "priming the pump." So, woo!

2) My UT3 Level. This is somewhat tied to the above, as the whole point is to make a couple of levels in order to show potential employers that designing "hardcore," FPS, and 3D game levels is something I can do just spiffy-keen. I had wrapped up most of the texturing, at least the first pass, and decided to put it up. As always, the actual time to prep it for distribution is longer than you would want, but I finally got it zipped up and placed up online. Much to my happy surprise, this time I was able to get someone from the forums to look at it pretty quickly. As I feared, the map crashed, but he was kind enough to post the log details, and another forum user pointed out what the issue was and how to fix it. This put me miles ahead of the last time I tried this (largely, I think, because I had textures down). After a bit of work, I managed to correct the problem and place the updated version online. Well, I think I did -- since the nature of the bug means that I can't test on my own machine, I have to have others test it to see if it runs on theirs. Still, at least this time I am more hopeful that it'll work. And if it does, than I can include it in my game design site and resume from here on out. Double-plus woot!

Today (Saturday) I shall be off to play some football, but upon my return we'll see if we get any comments about the map -- particularly if it's just something like "Hey, it worked!"

So yeah, that was some funky good news today.

...the hell?

2009-10-14T16:06:13Z

Okay, someone explain this to me, because it's way beyond the capability of my enfeebled simian brain to comprehend:

I recently got confirmation of a Facebook friend request of one of my fellow rec sports league players, so I popped over to her (referred to as "Girl A" from here on out) profile, as I always like reading the various wall postings that others leave on profiles; I consider it the Facebook equivalent of people watching in Central Park.

Well, I noticed that another one of my fellow rec sports league players ("Girl B"), had posted the following about a week ago:

"'I'm not so ubergeek that I can build my own computer from scratch, but I have the required amount of geekitude to know what specs my system needs, and to tell you why you need a 64-bit OS if you have 4 gigs of RAM or more. I also firmly believe that all keyboards should come equipped with a "WTF?" button for ease-of-use.'

Direct quote."

That direct quote, my friends, was from _my_ Facebook profile.

Now, I thought it was a nifty little paragraph, and as anyone who knows me can testify, I make no apologies for my geek side. But still, this caught me completely by surprise.

Why the hell would Girl B feel the need to quote that paragraph from my profile?

Normally, people only pull out a direct quote when looking to back up their side of an argument. And while it's possible that Girl B was using it as proof of the importance of needing a 64-bit system when you have more than 4 gigs of RAM, I strongly suspect that this was an argument about me.

But that's what has me totally perplexed. What would have caused this desire in Girl B to actually quote from my profile? Was she trying to show that I was not a jock, as it appeared with my football and basketball activity, but merely a geek trying to masquerade as one? Was Girl A suggesting that I would be a good date for Girl B, and Girl B wanted to show that I was too geeky for her? Or maybe it was that Girl B was trying to tell Girl A that I might be able to help her with computer problems?

I'm probably thinking about this too much, but the fact that it seems that anyone would be debating about me outside of a HR department (or Rescue Ranger forum, really) is something that I just can't wrap my mind around.

Well, whatever the case, I just hope that Girl A and Girl B liked writing style of the paragraph. I still say it was a nifty one, by golly!

Irony

2009-10-13T19:30:14Z

So, for Browns fans, the irony of this past weekend was not that Braylon Edwards had a great game with no drops for the Jets on Monday Night -- any Browns fan knows that this is par for the course. Nor is the irony that the Browns receivers combined for about 9 drops after traded Edwards.

No, the irony is that despite Edwards' great game, the Jets still lost. And despite the whopping 2 completions that the Browns passing game had, the Browns still won.

That is the irony. And if the Jets go downhill from this point forward while Browns manage to continue to build momentum, it'll likely be the biggest irony of the season.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

You know, as much as I would like to give up, throw in the towel, stop trying, and just wallow in self-pity, it's just not in my nature. Either I'm far more resilient than I give myself credit for, or I have too short of an attention-span to focus on being a downer. My bet is it's a mix of both.

And the doughnuts from The Donut Pub definitely help. Damn, but they are good stuff!

I hope this isn't a trend

2009-10-10T15:33:29Z

Last night I had two dreams that were not nightmares, per se, but had sudden disturbing moments that had me wake up suddenly.

The first was while I was in this dream that was pretty G-rated. Everything had sort of a 1970s Disney movie feel to it, and I was on like a Fisher Price locomotive (a toy one that you sat on and made go with your feet) with a friend, and we were moving through this house with all these highly ornamental pieces of furniture. We were off to rescue our friends from something that was really pretty benign, when suddenly a large, boxish grandfather clock started chiming, and a dark shadow moved out from it, slowly. It took a form of a gray humanoid with a dark cape, and there was this sudden fear that if we didn't get out of the house by the time that it reached the end of the hallway, it was going to kill us both. And, and I remember that even in the dream, this would be a "final kill," meaning that we wouldn't come back to life through a magic spell or anything. So we ran, and it started chasing, and that's when I woke up.

Later, when I got back to sleep, I was swimming around the inside of a large submarine which had one section filled with water (not sure why) talking to a friend over a bluetooth headset about an upcoming issue of W.T.F.B. that was going to be delayed, and he explaining that it was cool, as he was trying to get some art done for it and it gave him more time. He asked me a question about a fanfic I had wrote, and I thought about it, then answered. But when I finished, all I heard on the other line was some static. I was up near an air pocket, taking a deep breath, when suddenly red lights and sirens went off, and the whole submarine started tumbling down. I realized that sub was actually sinking, and that I was not going to be able to swim out and to the surface before I drowned; and hence, I woke up again.

So I'm not sure what's going on. Why this sudden horrible endings to otherwise whimsical dreams? What is causing not one, but two of them in the same night, when I haven't had anything like this happen in ages? Is it because of the constant failure with my job applications, the string of dating disappointments, or just the fact that I had McDonald's on the train home last night for the first time in, well, ages?

Whatever the case, my real life is difficult enough as it is; I'd at least like some happy endings to my dreams, thank you very much.

Moment of clarity (and other stuff)

2009-10-07T19:00:42Z

I have been confused about when Dunkirk needs to be inspected. The sticker on the windshield says "9 11" but because of the way the fonts are, I was never sure if that was supposed to be "September 11" or "November 9." I had asked some people here in NJ, and I was never able to get a satisfactory answer.

Well, today, I was researching it again, and ran across this line, "Vehicles must be inspected every 2 years, except for new vehicles, which have 4 years before the first inspection" (that is not a verbatim quote, of course, but the overall gist). So then it suddenly -- finally -- struck me: I had Dunkirk registered in 2007; it was a new car; so it shouldn't need to be inspected until 2011... say, wait a minute! That sticker is actually reading "September, 2011!"

Still, I've been wrong about these things before; but I'm pretty sure this means I don't have to fret over the cost of an inspection any time soon.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

So the Browns have traded Edwards to the Jets. I admit I'm a bit surprised at how fast it took place after his "altercation" late Sunday night, but at least the Browns were able to get something for him, as it was highly unlikely he would have been around after this year.

Still, this is one of those cases where you have to wonder how it will play out. Now, the Browns have no established WRs on their roster. Well, there is the guy who was part of the trade, but since he's just coming in, it'll be some time before he's fully up to speed.

Also, and this sounds bad, but I hope that Braylon continues to have a down year. This is nothing personal against Braylon, but rather that for once I would like to see that it really was issues with the player, and not the Browns. Of course, last I checked, the Bucs haven't been doing all that well, and people said that the addition of K2, from the Browns, would have made the offense all the better.

The Browns play the Bills, another team that is having its struggles, on Sunday. Considering the Browns' offense has only shown life this past game, it seems like that game just got harder. Because even if Edwards had issues with drops, at least he was the sole player on the offense that the defense had to respect. Now, well, every Browns fan is leery that this could be a repeat of the Broncos game: expectations for a win, but then the Browns are just blown out.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

I may be headed into the city tonight, but it's unclear. There was supposed to be some football practice around 6, but nobody has confirmed the time and place, and currently, only two people (myself included) have said they plan on being there. I have until 4:30, at which point I would need leave to catch the train in, so hopefully I at least find out if anyone else is showing up or not. I've already decided, though, that if I don't hear anything else by 4, I might as well let the other guy know that I'm not coming in.

Another possibility is that if I did come in, if I might be able to visit some people, but the last minute nature of it makes it iffy, and I'm not big on spending about 2-3 hours of travel time just for an iffy prospect. Besides, I'll be in the city tomorrow for basketball.

Wondering thoughts....

2009-10-03T19:03:11Z

I've seen the term "self-employed." Can I claim that I'm "self-unemployed?"

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

I'm getting worried about this job possibility when a local game company. Last night I had a dream where they offered me a contract with a yearly salary of $1.4 million. Later in the dream, I was being chased through the building while people tried to shoot me. I was not afraid of dying, though -- more like I understood this was just their method of negotiation. In any case, I'm not sure what this dream may be foreshadowing, and hence I am developing a concern.

Breadcrumbs

2009-10-03T06:56:31Z

Recently got this email alert from Facebook:

"Cassandra [my sister] recently became friends with Gary [my father]..."

My sister and father have often given live performances of their version of "The unstoppable force meeting the immovable object" to rave reviews and sellout crowds. Hence, this line is just pure gold.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

I have been offline for the past week, and, amazingly enough, got even less done as a result than when I was online and playing WoW 10 hours a day. Does this break some law of nature?

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

I have recently completed "Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty" and "Phantasy Star Universe." I should write up reviews of them for fun, as the first one has a story that is right out of the dregs of fanfics, and the latter, despite my intial skepticism, actually won me over with its bizarre console/possible-maybe-future virtual world/television series approach.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

I have been broken by the Browns this year; didn't bother to watch the last game against the Ravens, and from what I heard, they played as bad as I feared they would. Honestly, it's gotten to the point where I realize that I could spend three hours far more productively than watching the Browns offensive end all their drives with either punts or turnovers. Staring at the wall would provide more entertainment value, and wouldn't leave me feeling as depressed.

And it's not that they are losing, but just that they are so utterly inept. I can't see them as anything but the worst team in the league as every other team, regardless of everything else, has scored more than 1 offensive touchdown by now. In fact, looking at the schedule, I cannot honestly say that there are any games which the Browns would have a good chance to win. I thought that would be the case with the Broncos, but ye gads, did they quickly dismantle that idea.

So, until the Browns score some offensive touchdowns, I'm not going out of my way to watch any games. Heck, I can't even bear to read the recaps and columns by guys who I normally enjoy reading.

I guess if nothing else you can say that at least the Browns are operating as a team; it takes participation from all the players, coaching staff, and management to produce results this epically bad.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

Our football team had our first game last weekend; it was close, and right when it looked like we would pull off the win, we lost in the closing seconds. Still, we played much better from the week before, and everyone got involved, which was really spectacular.

My main concern? Our only scores came from defensive interceptions returned for touchdowns.

In other words, much like the Browns, our offensive failed to get in the end zone.

I find this highly disturbing.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

Unemployment continues to be the less-than-thrilling experience that I've come to expect. What really bugs me is that despite the increase of free time, I feel that my productivity has gone down.

Personally, I bet this is because it's easier to put things off: "Oh, I could work on that, but I think I'll just wait until tomorrow. I'm not doing anything else, really." This is not a blueprint for success.

This week I need to catch up on job applications (due to the Net shortage here), but likewise I am starting to at least focus in on just a couple of projects for now. One my board game, and the other an article I would like to submit eventually.

I probably should also get my sleeping schedule on a more stable track, as well, but again, if I don't need to get up in the morning early, it's awfully easy to stay up late.

Well, it's always been easy to stay up late for me (hence the "Matt the Bat" moniker from Scouts) but this just adds fuel to the night fires.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

You know what my apartment needs? A plant!

LeBron's Cleveland Brown commerical

2009-09-18T20:38:42Z

The director's cut is up on youtube:

Personally, I think this pretty much sums up the sort of curse that hangs over Cleveland. Here we have Cleveland's biggest star, by far, claiming that that he's going to join Cleveland's biggest love, which is the Browns, which he refers to as "my first love."

And yet, it leaves fans of Cleveland with a bittersweet taste.

Why? Well, because while it's nice to have one of the biggest athletes of the day located in my hometown, it's also depressing because everyone in the city knows that LeBron's favorite football team is the Cowboys, just like his favorite baseball team is the Yankee's. Even growing up, his favorite basketball team was the Bulls.

In other words, his first love(s) are all outside of Ohio, let alone Cleveland.

Sigh.

Oh well -- enjoy what you got, right?

Tuesday Report

2009-09-16T05:59:56Z

So, Tuesday turned out to be a pretty good day; certainly one of the better ones I've had since the noble ship Rebel Monkey capsized and sunk like a lead life jacket to the bottom of the Indie Game ocean (and it's actually pretty crowded down there).

To start off with, I managed to get up before 10 AM. Definitely a good start. I'll be back into regular workday shape before you know it. But the first real big thing was that I applied to a local game company. I had learned about an opening they just announced for a Game Designer back on Saturday, but waited until today to send in my cover letter and resume, as this time around I had a couple of friends of mine who work there send in some letters of recommendation, basically. Well, they said they would, so here's hoping it actually happened.

Then, when I finished off that sliver of hope, I noticed on the game job boards that another NYC company had just announced an opening for a Game Designer. And this company, no less, had just hired two of my former coworkers, including a guy that I actually managed. So, I quickly jumped on this and e-mailed them both asking if they would be ever so gracious enough to put in a good word for me. I sent in an e-mail to the HR guy, and then proceeded to send a follow-up saying basically, "Hey, if you're looking for instant references, you can ask two of the guys that work there now. Isn't that handy?"

So, to recap: I applied to two companies that are

1) In the NYC area
2) Are actually advertising for a Game Designer
3) Employ two people that I can count on for good recommendations.

Of the two, I think I have a better shot at the second one, but we'll see. Right now the real hope is getting a crack at an interview, at least. I'll worry about the rest from there.

In the meantime, I'll continue to look into other leads, but this was at least a nice change of pace -- finding a couple of jobs that not only fit the bill of what I'm looking for, but also have a couple of people I know "on the inside" that can vouch for me.

Then, Tuesday night brought about basketball scrimmage, and as always, it was a lot of fun. I think I'm definitely out of shape a bit, as I was losing my breath quicker than I had hoped. I also almost twisted my ankle (again) so I really need to start doing my home exercises with it. As for the games, the ego-patting thing is that the game that I played through entirely, we dominated 14-4, and then we lost the next three games, during which I only played about five minutes in the second and third, and then not at all in the fourth. I wouldn't say that I'm the best player on the team (I think one of the guys has a better shot than I do), but I was able to pretty much fight for every rebound, getting most, and also enjoyed a dandy of a shot block that actually drew applause from the sideline. Woo!

I'm a defensive guy, what can I say? The height certainly helps.

Afterward we went to the bar to meet the other teams. Ironically, we wound up getting split up, as my group was downstairs while the rest were upstairs. This worked out all right, as it gave my team (all four of us that showed up) a chance to chat and catch up, and then afterward we went upstairs to touch base briefly with some of the other players. I met a couple, even, that I hope to see at the after game gathering next week.

Finally, coming home, I managed to catch my connection right on time, so I only had to wait 5 minutes. A nice end to a good day.

As for tomorrow, I have work to do on Madness, and I think I need to get myself back into some home workouts; need to shape up a bit for the upcoming sports season.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

Just a couple of football tidbits that I got a kick out of.

First, Gregg Easterbrook (who refers to Favre as "Favre Favre Favre" due to the media obsession (see "King, Peter")), rather than go into depth on the Vikings trouncing of the Browns or mentioned the Browns lack of talent or how great the Vikings are, only had this to say about the actual game in his Tuesday Morning Quarterback column:

"Maybe you heard that Minnesota won and Adrian Peterson ran wild. What struck me about the game was that undrafted free agent safety Abram Elam, who weighs 205 pounds, twice blew through enormous Vikings left tackle Bryant McKinnie, once to sack Favre Favre Favre and once to drop Peterson for a loss on third-and-1. Elam was the hidden gem in the Mark Sanchez trade. Don't forget his name."

And perhaps the best line about the first week of football goes to DJ Gallo:

"Jake Delhomme: After six turnovers in Carolina's playoff loss to the Arizona Cardinals last season, Delhomme showed he's already in playoff form by committing five more in three quarters against the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday."

Thoughts on the upcoming NFL season

2009-09-10T21:09:54Z

NFL kicks off tonight, and as a result I've been thinking on and off about the various teams and happenings in the league. Such as:

--The rape case against Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is getting more and more interesting. In the latest, apparently the accuser has stated through her attorney that she will drop the charges if Big Ben:

1) Admits it was rape
2) Apologizes
3) Donates $100,000 to a home for battered and abused women.

As someone who went through the legal process, I honestly can say that this has two totally polar opposite meanings.

The first is that the accuser is showing that this is not some plan to "extort" money from Ben, as his attorneys have claimed. The other possibility is that this is a shrewd move to shift public opinion more to her, as if Ben admitted it was rape, he could still be charged with the crime by the local DA, thus making it an offer that Ben would have to refuse.

Frankly, this smacks to me a lot of the Kobe Bryant ordeal, and other cases where a male star athlete/celebrity just can't seem to fathom that a woman wouldn't want to sleep with him. but, I was not there, so who knows?

With the case apparently showing no signs of going away, you have to wonder how much this may be a distraction from Big Ben. Tonight's game should be a good indication.

--A number of national sportswriters and commentators seem to have a very bad reaction to the Browns, and frankly, it's really weird to see such outright hate. I'm thinking that these people are made because they made the trendy pick of the Browns last year to make a deep run, and those felt like they were "shown up" because the Browns tanked.

Some just seem to distrust Mangini, no doubt because he doesn't play nice with the media and tries to keep everything ultra super hush-hush within the organization. Others think that the long QB derby was a horrible idea and both Quinn and Anderson will play horrendous as a result. Still others think that the QB derby was "lukewarm" anyways, as neither guy played like Aaron Rogers. (Again, I point out that if one of them did play like Aaron Rogers, there wouldn't have been a derby in the first place.)

Vic Carucci, a couple of weeks back, mentioned that the Browns were one of 5 teams where fans should already be panicking. Why? Because both Quinn and Anderson in the preaseaon "have been largely inconsistent and ineffective," and also because "no playmakers have emerged during the summer."

To his first point, while Quinn wasn't spectacular, he steadily improved, and recall that he led to Browns to three scoring drives against the Titans, and two of those were against the Titans starters. Both were only field goals (had they been touchdowns it would have been "spectacular," you see), but the ability of Quinn to move the chains, take care of the football, and (most importantly to me) make smart plays at least makes him "effective."

To his second point, apparently he was in the bathroom or making a sandwich or talking about Tom Brady to his family or something whenever James Davis was on the field. Additionally, I think it's safe to say that Shaun Rogers is certainly a playmaker.

But even if we take his points at face value, the Browns have far less reasons to panic than the following teams, which inexplicably didn't even make his list:

The Raiders: A fistfight between coaches, two 1st-round picks that have yet to produce, and Al Davis as the leader of the most dysfunctional organization in NFL today.

49ers: A team that had an even more tepid QB derby than the Browns, and their 1st round pick, Crabtree, remains unsigned and shows no interest in changing that stance (more on this later).

Lions: While nothing has blown up in Lions organization yet, fresh off from a 0-16 season with a rookie QB (who will eventually start), the pressure has got to be pretty hefty. Maybe the fans don't have to "panic," but I doubt that the Lions will have the miracle turnaround that Falcons and Ravens had last year.

--Micheal Crabtree continues to hold out. He is now the last unsigned draft pick and it's becoming more and more questionable that he will even start anytime this month for the 49ers. He has said that he is willing to sit out the whole year if he does not get the contract that he feels that he deserves, as well.

For those unaware, the issue here is mainly that Crabtree was projected to be taken in the top 5, but was passed on, and was not taken until pick 10 or something. Crabtree, as a result, is holding out for money that he would have gotten as a top 5 pick, rather than the money being offered to him as a #10 pick.

A few days ago, the NFL Network had a short chat with Deion Sanders, who basically tried to make it sound like Sanders was not the one at fault. It was a very surreal experience, as all of the points that Sanders made were so lame that even I could have shot each one down within seconds of them taking off. For example....

Argument: The slotting system is not real, because some players get paid more than the slot they are taken in.

Counter: Position plays an important role, as well. QBs historically make more money than any other position, and I believe that left tackle is the next highest paid, as they protect the QBs blind side.

Argument: The other player's agents screwed up because they didn't get their clients more money, which has unfairly altered the pay scale.

Counter: Even assuming that's true (which I doubt that it is, as no other player felt the need to hold out for this long), Crabtree is being offered the right amount of money for being a number 10 pick. Unless he has a time machine or access to an alternate dimension, he's stuck with being a number 10 pick.

Argument: By holding out, he can force the 49ers to trade with another team that will pay him that money.

Counter: (And this is the only time that Eisen actually spoke up) The deadline for the trade has long passed. Either Crabtree is a 49ner or he's not playing this year.

Argument: There's only one shot at a first contract, and he may not ever see a second one, so best to get it right the first time.

Counter: There's only one shot at a first contract, and he may not ever see a second one, so the 49ners had best to get it right the first time; which is to say, not throw money out the door on a bust.

Argument: He will be willing sit out the year and re-enter the draft next year in order to get the deal he feels he deserves.

Counter: Just how stupid and/or egotistical is that line of thought? First of all, there are rumors of a rookie pay scale, a la the NBA, that will be put in place if a new CBA is reached. Second, even if that doesn't happen, does Crabtree honestly think that by not playing football for a year and then re-entering the draft up against a fresh batch of college receivers, that he is suddenly going to get drafted higher than 10? If anything, he'll probably slip to the 3rd or 4th round, and then what is he going to do when his offer sheet is only a fifth of what it is today? Hold out again and demand a contract with top 5 money?

Conclusion: The only thing that Crabtree is proving right now is that the Browns were wise in not even placing him in consideration to pick.

--I've mentioned before the criticism that Mangini has received because of how he has handled the QB derby, in terms of the team not knowing who the leader is, or Mangini losing the trust of his players.

Now, there are arguments that can be used to defend these actions, such as the fact that the team needs to rally behind whoever is under center, as injuries to QBs is a regular occurrence in the NFL. Remember, the Browns started 4 different QBs last year after both Quinn and Anderson went down for the year.

But even putting those aside, it says something about the national sports media, in general, that nobody has been taking Brad Childress to task for *his* handling of the QB position. Last year, he yanked them in and out after stating that one of them "was the guy." During the offseason, he told the team to their face that he was not trying to convince Favre to come out of retirement while he was, at the very time, trying to convince Favre to come out of retirement. Favre decided not to, and then after the first preseason game, Chlidress called and practically begged Favre to come out. Now, Favre is on board, and he says that he might not even start all of the games. I sure hope, then, that the Vikings have no "must-win" games later in the year, because it's brutally clear that Childress has no faith in his other QBs.

Now, seriously, why isn't isn't the sports world condemning Childress for this constant game of skulduggery and backstabbing? Well, the reason, obviously, is because it's Brett Favre.

The Vikings are now entering the season as contenders for the SuperBowl. I'm going to say that, for me, they enter as contenders for the Super Bomb. This team is loaded with talent on the defensive side of the ball, and Peterson is obviously going to carry the team forward whoever is under center. And yet, just from the way that Childress has handed the QB situation, it just looks like all it will take is one bad break for the whole thing to collapse.

With the Browns luck, it won't happen until well after opening day, course, but that's the life of a Cleveland fan.

--Finally (never thought this would end, did you?) I have to look back on the Romeo Crennel and Phil Savage era and wonder how things went downhill so fast. It's becoming increasingly obvious that Savage was hit-and-miss on evaluating talent (best example was the dual move to get Corey Williams and Shaun Rogers; he struck out on Corey but hit the jackpot on Rogers). But the nadir of his management was, without question, the staph infections that kept cropping up. It was an embarrassment and worse yet, a danger to the players and their health. His nasty e-mail to a fan after the Bills game certainly didn't help matters, and it says a lot about how Randy Lerher felt when he fired Phil via a text message right after the blowout loss to the Steelers on the last game.

Contrast that to Romeo, who Randy waited until he could talk to him face-to-face to fire, but even then there was talk about Romeo staying on in some capacity, as everyone on the team and in the organization loved him. The downside was that, well, he apparently couldn't coach very well, at least in terms of getting the most out of his players. The Browns all too often played sloppy games, with penalties, lackluster performances, and, most evident by the lack of touchdowns over the last six games, "when the wheels fell off, they stayed off."

But these days I'm starting to think that there really was a schism, however slight, between Phil and Romeo in how to run the team. If Quinn turns out to be a legit starter, then I buy more into the theory that Phil backed Quinn as the starter in 08, while Romeo backed Anderson. I always got the feeling that Romeo didn't like Quinn holding out during training camp, and as a result never warmed to him. Then, when Anderson had a breakout year in 07, Romeo gave Anderson a lot of leeway going into the next year. It certainly explains why Anderson got a much longer leash in games than Brady did.

Additionally, players like Alex Hall, Jerome Harrison, and Kamerion Wimbley seem like they could be breakout players, but the old coaching staff never seemed to know how to utilize them. While Harrison hasn't had a chance to show anything due to injury, and Wimbley is basically on his last chance to show he's a starter, so far, in the preaseason, they've been more active and intense than they have in previous seasons.

If it turns out that these players, as well as Quinn and Edwards, can show to be starters of Joe Thomas' quality, then maybe Savage was a pretty good judge of talent, after all (even if he was a lousy manager), and the team's failings really lay with Romeo and the old coaching staff.

Still, I suspect that I would get along with Romeo better.

Wish there was more interesting news to report

2009-09-08T15:34:33Z

To be fair, not having interesting news hasn't stopped me from writing my Fireside Chat Logs before (although it's been a while since one of those, too), but I have to admit, the past couple of weeks really haven't been all that exciting. At least, not enough that I have felt compelled to posit anything on the web.

Then again, I'm betting "interesting" things have been happening, and I just haven't been interested in commenting on them, depriving my, oh, 3 fans that read this thing. To be honest, the lack of rec leagues wound up affecting me more than I would have thought -- I've been out walking around now and then, but haven't had much reason to leave the apartment, otherwise.

Hence, the good news is that rec leagues start up this month. I have both football and basketball this "season," and it should help (a lot) in terms of not only getting me moving again, but also in terms of getting to bed before 4 AM (as fun as that is). Saturday is the football scrimmage, held at some part of Manhattan that I never knew existed, and I expect to need a couple of hours to find the place. Basketball scrimmage happens next week, so by then I'll be heading into yonder city at least twice a week to play.

With any luck, it'll get me motivated to start doing more stuff at home. I feel guilty that I've been neglecting Punch-Out for so long....

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

The QB secrecy around the Browns will continue, and honestly, it's anyone's guess if this is going to make any type of difference in the game against the Vikings or not. Most people say no, and I would agree. The feeling in Cleveland is that Quinn will be the starter, but there are people in the national media who think it will be Derek Anderson. Of course, these are the same people who thought Jamel Lewis would be cut, so take it for what its worth. Regardless, though, the Vikings defense is stout enough that I seriously doubt they will be thrown by this hidden fact. The bigger question is how it will effect the play of the Browns.

On that point, I'm not as concerned as others, though. For one thing, both have played either acceptable or well, depending on who you ask. And, also worth noting, is that both have moved the chains fairly well in their drives.

Another thing that makes me less worried than many others is that after the Packers game, the coaching staff pushed the players hard, and in the subsequent Lions game, the players responded very strongly. I know the excuse is "...but it's the Lions," but what does that prove? Remember, the Lions won their first preseason game. If it was a game that the Browns were suppose to win, then it's good that they did. I've never been a fan of the double-standard where if a teams loses in the preseason, it's panic time, but if a team wins, you blow it off because "it's just the preseason."

But, I digress.

For the season opener, I don't think that the Browns QB mystery is going to hurt the Vikings. The things that might hurt the Vikings include the Williams Wall being suspended (there's a ruling due before the start of the game, remember?), Brett Favre still needing more time to get adjusted to the offense and speed of the game, and Peterson getting some type of injury that keeps him from the game, either in practice or at home or boarding the plane, etc.

In the meantime, I need to see where the Browns Backers are going for the games now -- last I heard, their bar of choice had been closed due to tax problems (and subsequently nominated for a position in Obama's cabinet).

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

Oh yeah, and my health insurance issue has -- finally -- been worked out. What still boggles my mind the most is that the health insurance company refused to let me remove myself from the work coverage which, as I told them repeatedly, was not there because there was no company around any more to pay the bills. I can only imagine what would have happened if I had been unable to get Nick to call and officially remove me; would I have been doomed to forever be listed on the insurance company's list as already having coverage, and thus never again be able to get insurance with them again (which would suck as they had the best plan available)? It sounds like a lost Twilight Zone episode.

Good thing, too, as I have a doctor's appointment in a few hours. I'll be paying out of pocket, but at least now I can file reimbursement claims. After I get my ID number. In two weeks. And then wait for the paperwork to be filed. In three more weeks.

Urhm, yeah.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

I suppose the good news from all of this is that, if nothing else, I have gotten deep into WarCraft again, learning a lot more about the lore, how they set up their quests and quest chains, the purpose of Daily quests when you cap out at 80, and a vast number of other things.

Additionally, I should see about getting their music soundtrack. There's actually some very nice melodies that they use for various lands, and would make great background mood music for some D&Ding.

Boomer is a touch overboard

2009-08-31T18:40:21Z

So, in a recent article, Boomer Esiason thinks that Mangini's secretive style will hurt the deveoplment of whatever QB gets the job for the Browns. That's not the first time I've heard that, and who knows, maybe it will be an issue.

But then he goes on to say:

"So how does that play into the quarterback? When the quarterback gets on the field, is he a risk-taker? Is he afraid to throw an interception? Is he afraid that his coach is going to rip him behind closed doors? Can you imagine somebody treating Dan Marino like that? John Elway? Joe Montana?"

This is a good example of why I have a hard time trusting the opinions of national broadcasters. Is Boomer really saying that Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn are (currently, at least) on the same level as Dan Marino, Joe Montana, and John Elway?

Assuming that Quinn wins the starting job, if he develops into a player of that elite caliber, then you know what, he *won't* be ripped apart for throwing an inception. At least, I seriously doubt that Mangini did that with Favre, who led the league in interceptions last year.

Sheesh.

Browns won! Woo!

2009-08-30T22:30:30Z

Sure it's just the preseason, but hey, we'll take all we can get. My thoughts (oboy, another list!):

As you might have heard Quinn played pretty well, getting the first pass touchdown of the preseason for the Browns. Yes, this was against the Titans 2nd team, but it still counts. Even more importantly, though, is that his two best plays, IMHO, came against the Titans 1st defense:
1. Titans sent an all-out blitz in, Quinn has about .746 seconds to throw the ball before getting buried, and he nails Josh Cribbs for 18 yards. That was a fast read, and perfect throw under major pressure.
2. After driving the Browns down to the Titans 9-yard line, he was looking for the endzone, rolled out, and finally threw the ball out the back of the endzone, settling for a field goal. Why do I consider this a huge play? Because it was the smart thing to do. I hate to say it, but if DA had been there, he probably would have tried to force it, resulting in an incompletion or (more likely) an interception. The fact that Quinn took care of the football and got us at least 3 points is a refreshing change of pace.
DA, himself, has played pretty well. As usual, he throws some mighty fine deep balls, and gets a lot of heat on the ball. But, while "bad DA" didn't appear (like he did during the two-minute drill last week), he did peek from behind the curtain: one a short pass -- what else? -- DA threw it right to the defender. It was just luck that the pass bounced off of the defender's hands and Mike Furrey pulled the pass in. Even though we lucked out, I don't think it helped DA's case.
DA was also on the receiving end of one of the lamest and strangest penalties of the preseaon, and maybe for the year. Basically, he was a foot or so too close to the sideline during one play, and the referee accidnetally tripped over him. He flagged DA for "unsportsmanlike conduct," but as even the Titans radio broadcasters pointed out, the real penalty was because DA (completely accidentally) made the referee look bad on TV.
The Browns pass defense was nonexistent; the backup corners came in early and could not just keep up. Whether it was Collins or Young, both moved the chains almost at will.
I was glad to see the Browns go for it on 4-and-1 while in Titans territory at the end of the game. Punting seemed silly, and given the problems with pass defense, it would seem like an engraved invitation to come back and score. If the Browns got a first down, they could run out the clock to seal the win. And on top of all that, it was a preaseason game. Nevertheless, I hope the Browns go for it during the regular season as well -- if nothing else, it shows that the team wants the win.
Lost amid the all the passing, the Browns run defense actually did pretty well. Rubin, in particular, has been proving to be a pretty reliable player behind Shaun Rogers.
Of course, the Cleveland running game was pretty dismal, as well, so we have our own issues.
I have to imagine that despite being unceremoniously fired via a text message, Phil Savage probably still wants his players to do well, if just to prove that he knew what he was doing in terms of getting players (some of the time, at least -- anyone else remember how Corey Williams was going to be the star on the defensive line while Shaun Rogers was considered a gamble?). If Quinn does go on to be the starter and has a great career, then it lends a lot more credibility that the Savage/Crennel camp was divided internally, with Savage backing Quinn to start ASAP, and Crennel backing DA to be given every chance to rekindle his 2007 fire.
Finally, I'm not sure what to make of the Thursday game; I seriously doubt that Mangini will actually publicly declare a season starter, just to tweak with the Vikings, and the Browns have been lucky (so far) in terms of avoiding major injuries, so I suspect that the first team will be down after a couple of series. After that, it will still be interesting to keep an eye on the game, just to see if any players can make a statement about staying on the team, or even the practice squad.
Oh, okay, and one more thing: the one player that I do want to see more of is Bartol, the QB battling Ratliff for the 3rd QB job (assuming that the loser of the Quinn/Anderson battle isn't traded). Ratliff was brought over as part of the Jets acquiring the 5th draft pick, so I can only assume that Mangini really likes the kid, but so far, Ratliff has not done anything to either impress me, nor give confidence if he was to be a 2nd stringer.

Whew.

In other news, three former Browns QBs are apparently on the Raiders roster: Jeff Garcia, Charlie Frye, and Bruce Gradowski [sp?] ... I honestly do not know what to make of this.

Let's review, shall we?

2009-08-29T22:08:06Z

My day thus far (and man, I'm really into making lists these days):

For the first time since I lost my job, I was up before 7 AM. I know: on a Saturday, no less? This was not, however, a choice of my own free will. Rather, I seem to have developed something of a rash over the past week and last night it was itching just enough that I could never get to sleep. Eventually, I gave in and got up just so I could soak in the shower to relieve things. Afterwards, I consulted with my current PPO (i.e. the Internet) and found that it could be caused by any number of things: irritated skin from sitting too long, sweating too much during the recent monster heat wave, a change of diet, sunspots, etc. The point is that it was a forceful reminder that I am still, technically, without insurance. Sure, I should be reimbursed for any medical costs I incur, but knowing how insurance companies work first hand, I can guarantee you that it will not likely be as simple as all that. So yeah, Monday: need to call Nick and Oxford to see what the current state is; or, as Kenny Rogers once sang, "See what condition my condition is in." (And thank you, Mr. 188, for that song.)
Never one to waste such an opportunity for productively, however, I quickly took advantage of the early start, and... played World of WarCraft. I've been playing a lot these days (take a guess why), and this morning I attempted to solo Upper Blackrock Spire (UBRS). I'm as high as you can go in the game in terms of level, and UBRS is actually 20 levels below me. But, it still remains the only dungeon from the Classic game that remains open for 10 players (of a level below mine, of course). I was killed once during the second-to-last boss -- aptly named "The Beast" -- but came back and managed to beat it down, only to fail at taking down the last boss in 2 straight attempts. Perhaps with upgraded gear I can swing it, but for now, I need some help. Regardless, it feels very satisfying to play through the "classic" dungeon, and finally get to see the set of the infamous "Leroy Jenkins" legend. "Leeeeeeeroooooooooy!!!"
Next, I drove over to CostCo and the supermarket for some goods. I have to make a decision in the next couple of weeks whether or not to renew my CostCo membership, and I likely will, but these days I'm just drawing out spending more money if at all possible. Still, I got myself another Bucket o' Cookies, because, hey, you know: brown sugar, why you taste so good?
Washed the dishes. And then:
Cleaned the kitchen. Not just wiping down the counters, but a full sweep and mopping of floor, complete with moving the card table out of the way (after wiping that down thoroughly.) It should last until, oh, tonight, when I make dinner and invariably drop something on the floor.
Cleaned the bathroom a little. As I was dumping out the excess mop water, I actually took advantage of the mop and did a quick sweep of the tub. A full cleaning is due later on, but it was good to get that first pass in. I also realized I could really use a new shower curtain, but you know, again, spending money...
...especially when I still have bills to pay, like my rent and power bill, both of which were put in the mail.
While digging into the pantry for some trash bags, I noticed, then confirmed, that there was indeed an odd funk coming from the pantry. I took a wild guess and checked the potatoes I bought about, uh, three months ago. Surprise, surprise, they were the source. I never realized that potatoes had a "fluid" which could leak....
Cleaned the pantry shelves.
Broke down my old moving boxes and threw some others away. This is pretty big. Anyone who has ever visited me has noted that it always looks like I just moved in, as I refuse to break down/throw away my cardboards, and just leave them lined around the walls, usually. Well, I had finally gotten tired of them after two years, so set about the ritual. Usually when I do this, it means I'm settling into a place, and thus will be moving again sometime. I certainly plan on that happening, but I'm still clueless as to where it'll be. Hopefully not my parents, as it'll be creating a pattern that I'm not thrilled with.

Whew.

Tonight, it's more cleaning in the living room and bedroom (hopefully) while I listen to the Browns game. Probably more WoW and maybe some other work on either the UT3 level or even Madness. As always, I shall play it by ear.

In any case, it was nice to at least get some things done that have just been lurking in the background. Now if I can just manage to wrestle a job down....

Where was I, anyway?

2009-08-27T20:22:25Z

So I've been officially unemployed for about a month and half, now, and find myself a bit disoriented. Not in terms of anything particularly bad, but rather in the sense that despite my best efforts, I can't seem to lock into any type of set schedule. I'm getting to bed earlier (around 2 in the morning) more often, but I'm not getting up as early as I like, and while having the freedom to pretty much do what I want when I want (within budget restrictions), it's rare that I feel like I'm making the most of my time. I feel like each day I should be getting a good amount done on the job hunt, working on getting a date, further developing my UT3 level, working on at least 2 seperate writing projects, updating Madness, cleaning the apartment, catching up on my Muppet Show DVDs, drawing, exercising, researching the possibility of getting into a photo gallery and starting a writing column, working on cooking new recipes, and, of course, reading about the Browns preseason.

In reality, however, usually I manage to eat cereal, surf the web, and sigh as I read the hefty requirements for a job which I'd like to get.

Something of a difference between the two, it seems. Oh, I have some solid days, but other times I wonder what I need in order to get a consistent feeling of production. Maybe if I start each day with a cup of hot chocolate....

In any case, on the unemployment front:

I had bites from a couple of companies I had contacted. One included a writing test, which was actually quite cool, and I sent that in on Tuesday. We'll see if anything comes of it.
Despite the lack of apparent NYC jobs, I continue to dig around in search of companies that might be on the prowl. I'll be sending out some more today and tomorrow, and, as always, we'll have to wait and see if anything develops.
My health insurance coverage is still up in the air; I need to contact Nick again and find out if he called Oxford yet, so that I can get that straightened out (and ease my mind).
I (finally) got a reply to the UT3 level I designed, which mentions that it might have too much open space. I can see that as a possible issue, but at this point, I think that given that I've gotten one reply after it's been up for about a week, I will, instead, move on to dressing it up more pretty, so that way I can at least set up it up on my Game Design site as another string to my bow. If I can get some more feedback, and they all agree there's too much open space, I can easily make adjustments.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

Talk continues around the Cleveland Browns QB race. A couple of sports pundits are saying that based on Anderson's performance last week, he should be the season starter. My response is that these pundits obviously didn't watch him last season, as he is maddeningly inconsistent. He'll throw great balls downfield one week, and then struggle to make a completion the next 3 weeks.

The flip side is that the QB race is tight not because both are doing brilliant, but rather because both Anderson and Quinn have been, well, somewhat unremarkable. They've made some good plays, but neither has a touchdown pass yet.

I guess, for me, I'd rather see Quinn get the start. He never really had a chance, yet, to really show what he can do; he's only had about 2 1/2 NFL games, really. Assuming he starts this week, I hope he can lead the Browns offense on a touchdown drive, because, after all, that's what you want a QB to do.

[ S H I E L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

I ran a (very brief) high-level D&D 4ed game last night, with some interesting results. It was pretty much just an experiment, as both the players and I hadn't played any characters higher than 5 thus far, and we wanted to see what a high-level run might be like.

A lot of time was lost just do to getting used to the plethora of powers and abilities. Which, you know, is just fine; in the end they went through just one battle (we plan to pick up on the game at some point in the future), but man, did I learn a lot from that:

Things like Skill Challenges really don't change as you scale up; at least, from my vantage point, the players were challenged the right amount because while they had much higher rolls, the DCs were also much higher, so in the end it flows fine.
The higher level really underlines some important considerations in terms of combat. For example, a monster that has a high AC but a low chance to hit is not really a danger for the players, and in fact, can make for a boring fight. The players may have an issue actually hitting the creature, and it may have a lot of HP to soak up damage, but when the creature can only hit the players on a roll of 19 or 2o, then they are not in any real danger. Worse, the battle can drag on for a while as both sides are constantly missing.
In relation to what I just mentioned, long battles (that are not the major "boss" battles) are generally not good things in the new system, because what inevitably happens is that the players burn through their Encounter Powers, but want to save their Daily powers for the "main" event. So they wind up just making basic attacks or use their At-Will powers over and over again, which can get stagnant after a while.
Powers, on both the Players and monsters sides, are far more valuable if they give you bonuses to hit, rather than damage. One player was playing a Warlord, a class I play in the main campaign, and he has since realized that the ironic part is that the Warlord can dish out major bonuses to allies, but often only if he hits his foe. And, when the foe can only be hit by rolling a 16 or better, chances are strong that you'll waste the power by missing (another reason to hold off on Dailies as much as possible).

But, overall, it was a good night, and hopefully we can pick it up again soon.

Booyah!

2009-08-18T04:12:28Z

No, I didn't get a job -- this is even better![1]

Completely on a whim, I decided to do a search on Amazon for mp3 downloads, and, Praise the Lord!, they actually have "Worse Than Slime" by Barnes and Barnes!!!!!!!!! Retro score!

I have been looking for this song since High School. I actually have an LP that had this song on it, but ever since the record player broke at my parents house (I shouldn't have attempted to replace that needle...), it would have been better use to me as a very large drink coaster.

I shall sleep well tonight, softly singly to myself, "I was once, your loving slave. Soon I'll rot, down in my grave. Worse than slime...."

Best damn $0.99 I ever spent.

[1] Let's not dwell on the conclusion that finding a song found on the Dr. Demento Show currently ranks higher to me than finding gainful employment.

Map, done!

2009-08-17T23:03:39Z

Well, sorta. The Alpha version is, but still, that's a huge load off my back. Remember, it will be two weeks ago from tomorrow that I even started mucking about with UnrealEd, and I had to learn a lot of stuff on the fly.

So, for anyone reading who plays UT3, feel free to take the Alpha for a spin:

http://www.filefront.com/14307803/DM-EngineRoom_Alpha_16.zip

Note: I call it Alpha as even though it's ready for human players to run around within and blow stuff up, it currently has very little in the way of eye candy -- most everything is BSP and carries the default ever-so-lovely checkerboard pattern for textures. Still, the first pass of the lighting is in place, the Bot pathing is set up, and audio is running. Besides, the main thing is to get some feedback for the actual game flow of the level, first, before I start delving into static meshes and textures, which I suspect will soak up an equally large chunk of my life.

But for now, a break from it, so I can work on other aspects of my life mentioned in the previous post.

Some screenshots:

Life of the Unemployed, Part 6

2009-08-17T19:44:13Z

Today, I decided that it was time for me to get back into a more varied day routine. Given that I have been working endlessly on Unreal Editor, I've neglected side things, like exercising, cleaning, going out, eating, hygiene, etc. You know, minor stuff.

But now that I'm wrapping up the Alpha version of my UT3 level, and also getting tired of spending all this time in front of the computer, I decided that today would be the day that I break out into doing some other stuff.

Good thing, too, because I got hit with 2 whoppers in the mail.

Side note: if you wonder how dedicated I've been to working on my level, I hadn't even taken the time to check my mail from Thursday of last week on.

When I got the mail today I found 2 pieces of mail that required immediate attention, and not for good reasons.

Mail #1: I heard back from Oxford, informing me that the insurance I applied for cannot be processed because my old insurance from Rebel Monkey is still active. I found this highly doubtful, given that Rebel Monkey is no longer in existence.

After placing some phone calls, what seems to have happened is that even though Nick had told PayChex (or whatever they are called) that they were done, and no money is being paid to Oxford for the employee plan, Oxford needs to have "Rebel Monkey" call them directly and tell them to cancel the insurance plans.

I talked to Nick, and he said he would call and straighten things out, although there's no telling how long this will take.

The bottom line? I cannot get health insurance because of health insurance that does not actually exist. Swell.

The silver lining is that with my application in the queue, Oxford said that they will cover me from August 15th on; if I have medical bills before I get my ID number, I'll need to submit claim reimbursement forms, but at least the coverage will be retroactive. Regardless, I need to follow up on this later in the week, as I don't want to just sit around and think happy thoughts in hopes that speeds things along.

Mail #2: I received my Gas/Electric bill. Usually, in the summer, this hovers around $30 (my refusal to turn on my air conditioner makes me strong, and better off financially, too boot). This bill was for over $220.

Cripes.

This is almost like an urban legend; I always hear about others getting this whacked bills, but never thought it was me. For a moment, I wondered it was true -- I've been home pretty much most of the month, and using the computer a lot more, but then reason appeared out of nowhere and pointed out that I would have had to have gotten a few more refrigerators (and left them open, as Jake Johannsen pointed out[1]) in order to make my bill skyrocket like that. After checking my previous bills, I decided to check the meter myself -- I knew where it was, and as I suspected, it's actually pretty easy to read.

Well, sometimes, as sure enough, the person who read the meter got it wrong, getting 1 number wrong, but that was the difference of about $200.

Getting in touch with the company, however, was another Herculean effort. It reminded me of my (ultimately futile) attempts at getting in touch with Verizon FiOS:

--Neither company has a method in which to e-mail customer service/billing questions online.
--Both make you go through a number of hoops when calling
--When you get through the hoops, both make you wait in excess of 30+ minutes
--Both drove me break out profanity I normally reserve for video games, by cutting off the phone inexplicably.

Seriously, I'm getting more convinced that service companies like them deliberately make contacting them as arduous as humanly possible in hopes that you'll just pay the bill rather than lose an hour or your life trying to contact them.

Too bad for them that being unemployed, I *can* call during work hours, and $200 is a huge deal for me at this point.

The good news: I managed to get in touch with someone.

The bad news: I didn't remember the meter reading exactly (should have written it down), so even though I won't be paying the original amount, I still will be paying an extra $30 than normal.

The good news from the bad: The flip side is that this means that my next bill should be rock-bottom low. Since they'll be using that number for the next reading, that extra $30 is pretty much pre-paid for next month.

Anyway.

Yeah, auspicious start to the week. But by golly, I'm takin' it back!

[1] See 2:33 in this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FztVU6swtkM

Life of the Unemployed, Part 5

2009-08-14T23:43:52Z

I'm still jobless, as you can guess from the subject title, but I have to admit that this past week I wasn't as keen on applying to anything. Not because I feel like I can live on the Kingly salary (cough) provided by my Unemployment check, nor because I've lost the will to search, but rather because I feel like that the time I spend looking and writing cover letters, researching companies, and the like is taking away time from my level-building.

So, basically, time I spend looking for work impedes my future ability to find work. Gotta love it.

However, this is no reason to slack off; I've maintained my habit of applying to at least 3 jobs a week, and the game job sites I'm part of have been sending my some decent automated e-mails alerting me to jobs that match my search. My sole compliant right now is that all the jobs are out of NYC. So, I shall need to continue to pound the webPavement for what companies in NYC might be a solid fit for me.

So how is that level coming along, anyway?

Well, not bad, really. I struggled quite a bit with the first pass of lighting; sure, it's going to change as the static meshes and geometry is cleaned up and made "pretty," but even so, lighting is pretty central to the level, given that in many spots you can see clear across the room. At first I was moving towards a more realistic set-up, but just could not get a happy result. Why? Because it looked pretty dull, really. I'm sure that with some redesign of the level, I could make it work, but in the end I decided to take advantage of the fact that I was, after all, building a fantasy world.

So, I recalled some old assignments from Color class back in good ol' CCAD, and started working with a color palette of yellow, purple, and blue. So far, I'm liking the results. There's an area-wide dark purple -- very subtle -- that basically is the shadow layer of the level. Nothing gets darker than that, and it's just enough to see when you run through it. Most of the lights are a yellow, and I'm adding in some snappy blue lights here and there now. Overall, I'm much happier with this direction, and with any luck, will have it wrapped up ASAP.

After that, I want to create another first pass, this time for audio, and then pass it along to some people to playtest. I've run through it with bots many times, myself, but before I dive into attempts at making more pretty static meshes and textures, I want to see how the level plays. Fortunately, I now know of about 4-5 people who have UT3 and are willing to test it for me.

I'd love to host a game, so I can see what everyone does in the level, but it seems that I'll need to set up a DMZ on my Verizon FiOS, and I'm not sure that I'm ready for the headaches that will no doubt create.

Once I have some feedback, I hope that it's nothing major, so I can do a first pass with textures; that way, even as I continue to playtest and refine it, I can make it public. And it will be cool. Cos then I can write in a cover letter to a gaming company, "Why yes, I *do* have a level that you can play in order to see my blindingly brilliant game design skillz."

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must make some pasta. I shall need carbs for the design session tonight....

Life of the Unemployed, Part 4

2009-08-05T06:29:15Z

I had an "interview" of sorts today with a small company that ranks pretty high on the cool scale. I say "interview" because they weren't hiring at the moment, but liked my resume and background enough (and remember, I sent in the resume blind -- they never knew I existed beforehand) that they wanted a chance to sit down on talk with me.

The bad news is, obviously, no job offer.

The good news is that I am in consideration for some possible freelance projects, and if the right opening comes along, I have a shot at that as well. Of course, it could be 1-3 months if it does happen, so I still need to get out there and pound the pavement a bit. I also need to send a "thank you" note to them tomorrow, just to close out with a warm fuzzy feeling.

Other bad news: the job I applied for at Kaos Studios has been filled by someone other than me. Not too surprising, given that I have not worked on a AAA[1] game before, but still sad.

Some good news, however, is that I got my first unemployment check on Monday. Much to the shock of some politicians and pundits, I did not celebrate by rushing out and buying a Cadillac. Nor does this mean that I suddenly have lost all possible interest in looking for work, as a) The unemployment check represents about a 60% pay cut, and B) if I stop looking, I lose my ability to file a claim. Still, with the checks, I'm still thinking that I may be able to make it to October.

As for health insurance, I did some preliminary research, but need to make a final decision by the end of the week, at the latest, as I am, officially, uninsured. Yay me.

Finally, given that most Level Designer positions want to see, you know, level designs, I have dived full bore back into mods; with the "Unreal Editor for Unreal Tournament 3" (its official title), I did some online tutorials, and read a great deal about it, again, online.

(Side note: I'm getting more and more convinced that the Gen Yers have it right -- knowing specific information is not nearly as useful as knowing how to look up specific information that you don't know.)

Additionally, I've been reading up on ActionScript 3.0, and shall be diving back into that equally. I strongly suspect that for the rest of the week I will not leave the apartment, and rather spend my time testing, learning, and building projects.

Oh, also on Monday, I had a good lunch with my old boss. He's doing all right, it was good to catch up with him, and I was able to get some good comments about the perils of starting a company. I'm still not sold on the idea (raising capital just does not seem to be my thing), but it's not off the table, either.

Finally, I noticed today that I seem to be breaking out in hives or a rash of some kind. I have small little red marks over some of my left arm, and my left back and neck. I suppose it could be allergies, but I'm also wondering if the stress of this is affecting me more than I am consciously admitting. How cheerful.

[1] For those wondering, a AAA game is a game that (generally) has a lot of hype and cash behind it, and is found in retail shops, like "Halo," "Bioshock," or even "Legendary." It is not a game about free towing. (Although it could be, I suppose.)

Life of the Unemployed, Part 3 (and other stuff)

2009-07-30T04:23:32Z

In addition to the job hunt, I'm cracking open some ideas on side projects that I want to work on which should (that's the key word) help out in my search.

Project:"End of Empire"
Helps In The Job Hunt: Get me up-and-running in ActionScript 3.0; I still don't think I'd be happy making a living doing code (it's much better as a side hobby for me), but with the greater number of game programmer jobs out there it'll be a big help. Also, if I can get this updated and running through a couple of scenes, it makes for a nice addition for my personal portfolio.
Plus: I still think that the game idea, itself is a sound idea, and people would enjoy it.

Project: Article for Dragon Magazine
Helps In The Job Hunt: Not directly, but if I managed to sell it, it'd be a start to building some type of writing credits.
Plus: The extra cash would be nice.

Project: Madness
Helps In The Job Hunt: Obviously I'm already doing this, but wrapping this up means I can legitimately add it to the portfolio.
Plus: Heck, the whole point is to eventually send it around to game publishers.

Project: Unnamed video project
Helps In The Job Hunt: Gets me back into working with AfterEffects, Premiere, and Maya. The latter is the big one, because openings for Level Designers ask about experience in the program.
Plus: Having worked as a video editer/broadcast graphic designer before, it's another option to shoot for.

Project: UT3 Level Mod
Helps In The Job Hunt: Again, knowledge of the level editors is a plus for Level designers (makes sense).
Plus: Well, this is actually a bit tricky; there was a free level editor for UT2004, but I haven't seen anything for UT3.....

Project: Photography
Helps In The Job Hunt: Again, not directly, but certainly a possible way to draw in some extra money.
Plus: Heck, I have the tools (DSLR, tripod, software, computer), I might as well use them.

That's a lot to do, esp. since this is all outside of the actual job search. Still, even just working a bit on each of them can get my skill set sharpened up. And, better yet, it'll keep me too busy to get depressed or anything.

[ S H E I L D B R E A K ! ! ! ]

Taking the NJ Rail into the city earlier tonight, I noticed that one of the little on-train closest -- for the train employees -- was slightly ajar. What did I see on top of a stack of papers and manuals?

An empty bottle of Smirnoff vodka.

I guess it's reassuring that at least it wasn't the really cheap stuff.